The Moving Man Cometh: A Play in Five Parts

19 08 2010

moving_tips_2

Some interesting moving developments/conversations…set in five acts.
The Moving Man Cometh
Act One
Shan: You know the beds leave the 23rd, and we don’t leave until the 1st. What are we going to sleep on?
Me: The air mattress.
Shan: It will be in the container with the beds.
Me: Oh. Yeah.
(Long pause)
Me: But doesn’t the air mattress plug in? It will be useless over there…
Shan: Oh. Yeah.
Me: Well, we’ll use that and then give it away!
(disaster averted…and there was much rejoicing in the land)
Act Two

Scene 1
Me: Can you help me load some boxes? Nothing too heavy and I’ll buy pizza?
Almost Everyone: I have to work.
Scene 2
Shan: Sooo…who’s going to help you move the stuff into the container?
Me: Me, I guess…and the driver? People sort of go into the woodwork when you ask for moving help.
Shan: So you’re going to do it alone?
Me: Well, the pastor said he might be able to help…and maybe Andi (a girl from our church)…
Shan: You want me to ask friends at work that might be off that day?
Me: That would be great!
(and there was, with much hesitation, much rejoicing in the land)
Act Three
Shannon and I sit, looking at a gift-crib, maybe from the 1970’s, and try to decide what to do with it.
Shan: You are sure we can’t bring this? It was a gift.
Me: It’s a rusty crib. It was a nice gesture, but how many recalls are there for it?
Shan: I don’t know.
Me: Because you haven’t looked or because there are so many?
Shan: I would just feel bad getting rid of it.
Me: Do you think a new mom would choose this one or a newer one that they knew had no recalls?
Shan: The newer one.
Me: It’s settled.
(and the twinkles in my eyes rejoiced greatly)
Act Four

Scene 1
Shan: I went to the store and got a few things.
Me: Okay. Hey, I was thinking we should probably not buy much stuff other than maybe milk and bread, because we don’t have that many days left here, and we already have more stuff than we are going to eat.
Scene 2 (a few days later)
Me: Shan, I know I need to lose weight, and my goal is to lose 60 pounds. I started on my diet two days ago, but now I had to quit.
Shan: Why?
Me: There’s no food.
(And much rejoicing was heard throughout the land…the old pizza and ice cream menu was given a reprieve!)
Act Five
Moving Company Lady: Who will be loading your stuff into the truck?
Me: You can put the movers in that blank. We’ll do it.
MCL: Sooo…the movers or you?
Me: The movers…us…we are the movers, right?
MCL: No, WE are the movers. You are the customers. Do the movers or the customers want to load the truck.
Me: (sheepishly) The customers. (added quickly) …but we are moving.
(Curtains close, bows taken, exit stage right.)
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